David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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