it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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