You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
