Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
