I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
