One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
