Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
