ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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