I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
