She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
