I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
