So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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