super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
