you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
