no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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