I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
