Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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