My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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