man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
honey bunches of taint.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
