I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
