You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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