just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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