I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
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well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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