If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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