I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
