p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
