At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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