A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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