Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
