we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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