just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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