belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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