The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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