your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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