You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you will always have a special place in my vag
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
