I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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