i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
