he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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