kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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