I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
