Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
