when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
