I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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