when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
