I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
