"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize