My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
