I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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