It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
