I'm jealous of your bromance
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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