if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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