i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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