oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
