I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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