WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
