Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Farmville is her only friend.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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