Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
