ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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