is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're a disaster
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