make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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