everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
