Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
