I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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