is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
