i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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