ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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