Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
