Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
